Spring cleaning is a serious undertaking in many households. We chant “out with the old, in with the new,” clearing out overstuffed closets we can no longer ignore, and then sorting and tossing the things we no longer want. 

Just as we clean our closets, we also need to de-clutter our heads. It’s important to rid ourselves of any lies and negative thoughts that fill your head and drag you down, crushing hope and destroying your confidence. Some of those thoughts could be: “I’m a terrible parent” or “I’m a failure and loser” or “I will never amount to anything, and forever be a disappointment and burden.”

Over time, these self-deprecating thoughts and beliefs get deeply ingrained in how we think and feel about ourselves. Here are a few steps you can take now to start clearing negativity from your life.

• Become more aware of your thoughts, by tracking the negative “chatter” in your head 
• Pay close attention to your inner voice. What kind of conversation is going on in your head? What do you say to yourself? Are you self-critical? How many times a day is that happening? How do you feel when this happens? Would you say these things to other people? Probably not. How do you feel afterwards?
• Be more compassionate and generous with yourself
• Be nicer to you. Be your own best friend. Avoid judging and reacting to your thoughts. Name, praise and reward yourself for trying, recognizing that we all have limits, and forgiving yourself for making mistakes.  
• Reach out for support
• Connect with others. Let people know how you feel, and be open to their support. There are times when we all need propping up. Simply getting those thoughts out of your head can bring relief. 
• When you find it hard, and hit a setback, try to remember that problems take time to develop, so it’s reasonable to expect it will take some time—and effort—for things to improve.
• Recognize, take pride in and celebrate every step you take, no matter how small. Some days, just getting out of bed is a victory against negative thoughts. 
• With effort, you can learn to tune out your constant and nagging doubts, worries and fears. 

A counsellor from Your Therapy can help you confront your negative beliefs and change the way you think, gain control over your emotions, and cope better with stress and life’s challenges.

David Lubert is a registered social worker, psychotherapist who sees children , youth and adults for individual, couple and family therapy, and specializes in parent-coaching to manage child depression, anxiety, and behavior problems. 

Your Therapy is a safe, welcoming, counseling therapy practice in the Greater Toronto Area. Thanks for reading and, as always, please feel free to reach out with questions about talk therapy or other mental health issues. We offer depression therapy, anxiety therapy and more.