I meet a lot of students in Toronto who quietly tell me the same thing: “I thought university would feel different.” They imagined busy hallways, spontaneous conversations, and a buzzing sense of possibility. Instead, many end up spending long stretches of their day alone, on the subway, in crowded lecture halls where nobody makes eye contact, or rushing home before they can think about staying on campus.
Toronto is big and vibrant, yet it’s surprisingly easy to feel invisible here. And when you’re juggling school, work, family expectations, and the sheer logistics of commuting, anxiety and low mood can settle in almost without warning.
If that’s you, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not “doing university wrong.” You’re responding to a complex environment that wasn’t really designed with your emotional needs in mind.
The Quiet Weight of Commuter Life
Commuting can shape the whole day in ways we don’t always notice. Students tell me about waking up before sunrise, spending an hour on transit, sitting through classes, then doing the whole thing again in reverse. By the time they get home, there’s barely any energy left to be curious, to socialize, or to join anything that might build community.
And without realizing it, each day becomes a pattern: travel, class, home. Repeat.
It’s in these silent spaces between stations on Line 2, in the back corner of a lecture hall, in the walk from campus to the streetcar that loneliness can start to expand. Anxiety often creeps in here too: the sense of being behind, of not fitting in, of believing everyone else has found their people.
But the truth is, many students feel the same way. They just don’t say it out loud.
What Anxiety and Low Mood Can Feel Like in This City
When I ask students how anxiety shows up, they often describe it as a constant mental hum. Not a panic attack, not a crisis-just a persistent buzzing in the background. Thoughts that won’t settle. A body that doesn’t fully relax. A pressure to keep up.
Low mood can be sneaky too. It might look like losing interest in the things you used to enjoy, feeling drained all the time, or struggling to feel connected even when you’re surrounded by people. Sometimes it feels like you’re watching your life rather than participating in it.
These feelings aren’t failures. They’re signals to your mind and body letting you know you need support, connection, or simply a different rhythm.
Where Connection Can Actually Begin
When you’re already feeling low or anxious, the idea of “putting yourself out there” can feel overwhelming. I never recommend big, intimidating leaps. Instead, I encourage tiny, doable moments of connection-small enough that they don’t trigger anxiety, but meaningful enough to shift your emotional world over time.
For example:
- Find one place on campus where you can land every week-a quiet lounge, a table by the window, a club office that feels welcoming. Familiarity creates safety.
- Choose one recurring activity instead of scattering your energy. It could be intramurals, a study group, or a volunteer role. Consistency makes connection possible.
- Let yourself talk to one classmate before or after class, even briefly. These micro-moments matter more than you think.
- And reach out to mental health services sooner rather than later. Counselling or therapy doesn’t need to be a last resort; it can be a steadying anchor in an unpredictable system.
You Don’t Have to Navigate This Alone
If you’ve been feeling isolated, it doesn’t mean you’re not resilient. It means you’re human. Toronto can feel fast and impersonal, and commuter campuses don’t naturally give you the built-in community that residence life might.
But the connection is still possible. It just grows differently here, more slowly, more intentionally, often through small rituals rather than big social circles.
If you take anything from this, let it be this: you’re allowed to ask for help, you’re allowed to want community, and you deserve to feel like you belong-not someday in the future, but now, in the middle of the life you’re already living.
And if no one has told you this recently: you’re doing the best you can. And that’s enough to start from.
Ellie Lathrop is a Registered Social Worker and Psychotherapist at Your Therapy.
Your Therapy is a safe, welcoming counselling therapy practice in the Greater Toronto Area. Thanks for reading and, as always, please feel free to reach out with questions about talk therapy or other mental health issues. We offer Individual, Couple and Family Therapy.
