One of my favourite moments in therapy is when someone sits down and says, “I’ve been thinking about what you said last week. I was mad at first… but I get it now.” That’s a great moment of growth, and a big part of how therapy works.
This is a core principle of psychotherapy: it’s relational, based on trust and safety that we build together. For some people, our therapeutic relationship is the first healthy relationship they’ve ever had. That’s incredibly powerful, and it’s something AI fundamentally can’t do-even if it sort of feels like it can.
What Real Therapy Does
Therapy isn’t about constant agreement and validation. Sometimes we have really hard sessions where people leave with a lot on their minds. Not everything goes your way in therapy, just like in life. But we navigate that together in a safe space. Therapists are human. We sometimes say the wrong thing, and working through that rupture and repair is part of the process of building understanding of one’s own life. When people circle back to talk about a moment that bothered them, that’s a powerful opportunity for growth.
The Vulnerability Problem
As a trained professional, I can evaluate what AI is saying and see when it’s playing on someone’s vulnerability. But many people can’t, especially kids and teens. For young people, constant agreement and validation are deeply unhealthy yet captivating. They need to learn that disagreement doesn’t mean rejection, and that discomfort can lead to growth.
There have been cases of young people, including at least one teen, who died by suicide after extended interactions with AI companions. No AI has real protocols for assessing suicidality or ethical guidelines for mental health support. Because the AI’s job is to please you, it might say “you’re fine” when you’re not, or fail to challenge dangerous thinking. You can tell it to challenge you, but that’s not the same as a genuine therapeutic relationship with someone who actually knows you.
Why the Relationship Matters
Psychotherapy uses the relationship itself to help you grow and change. People learn to tolerate disagreement, to have boundaries respected and to repair a relationship after a misstep. These skills transfer to every other relationship.
There’s something else AI can’t give you: time to process. In therapy, we go slow at the beginning, building trust, understanding what matters to you, so we can go faster later. The time between sessions is just as important as the sessions themselves. That’s when things sink in, when you try stuff out in real life, when real change happens. AI is there 24/7, which sounds great, but it pushes you toward quick answers instead of real growth.
Agreement is seductive-“this person gets me” feels wonderful. But a real connection involves friction sometimes. That’s where growth happens.
As I mentioned in my previous blog, I understand the appeal of AI therapy. It’s accessible, with no wait list and less stigma. Though here in Ontario, wait lists
for therapy are now short to non-existent. More providers are available, and more benefit plans cover social workers, who are the largest group of mental health providers in Ontario.
Maybe AI will have a place in mental health someday, with proper ethics and training. But mental health is nuanced, complicated, and well, deeply human. The relational aspect of therapy-connection, challenge, and growth through discomfort—that’s not something you can automate. At least not in 2026, and maybe not ever.
Anu Chahauver, MSW, RSW, Psychotherapist
Director of Your Therapy, specializing in individuals, couples, and families. Anu has expertise in somatization, medical and mental health, and integrates evidence-informed approaches, including Narrative, CBT, Attachment, Internal Family Systems/Somatic, and Emotionally Focused Therapy.
Your Therapy is a safe, welcoming counselling therapy practice in the Greater Toronto Area, supporting clients with therapy, mental health guidance, and practical tools for well-being.
Thanks for reading and, as always, please feel free to reach out with questions about talk therapy or other mental health issues.
Learn more about Anu: https://yourtherapy.ca/anu-chahuaver-nelson/
