Boundaries in Therapy Practice

In my last blog I explained that client-therapist boundaries are crucial for creating a professional and ethical environment where therapy can take place. Strong boundaries allow clients to be vulnerable, and explore difficult thoughts and experiences without fear of judgment, and truly are the foundation of the therapeutic relationship.

I decided to explore this topic after seeing so many therapists in TV shows and movies portrayed as routinely crossing—or blowing up—professional boundaries. You see therapists who seem to be focussed on their own issues in sessions, or socializing with clients and even starting romantic relationships with them. Of course this is in the service of comedy or drama. In real life, blatant transgressions of the client-therapist do very occasionally happen. But what’s more common are subtle things that make the boundaries murky, or gradually cause the relationship to become less and less professional. So I think it’s important to discuss some examples of that, and ways you can recognize when boundaries are not as healthy as they should be.

Sorry, But We Can’t Be Friends

I once had a new client who’d really liked their previous therapist. As we began working together, this client expressed the feeling that I wasn’t “being nice” to them. And it gradually emerged that their previous therapist had been acting more like a friend than a mental-health professional. Therapy appointments are not supposed to be “a fun hang.” First of all, there’s a power imbalance, so the relationship is inherently one-sided. This situation prevents the formation of a true friendship. Perhaps more importantly, personal feelings cloud everyone’s judgement. You really need boundaries to get therapeutic work done.

Keeping It Professional

Boundaries also include practical professional matters such as length of sessions and setting fees. For example, suppose a client arrives late, and the therapist offers to extend the session beyond the allotted time. This may seem like a kind thing to do, but it’s actually a softening of important professional boundaries. Clients may also be upset if you charge them for a missed session. As a one off, it may be understandable, but a continued practice of these examples blurs the boundaries of the relationship. While maintaining these boundaries and expectations reinforces the professional nature of our relationship.

Be Wary of the Personal

Another red flag in the therapeutic relationship is if the therapist is talking about themselves a lot—especially in a way that doesn’t directly relate to the work at hand. That’s a huge sign that your relationship is becoming more about the therapist. I’m not saying a therapist needs to be an emotionless robot. It’s fine to disclose personal matters if it’s related to the work we’re doing. Done appropriately, this can help us build rapport and understanding. For example, if a client is dealing with grief, I might disclose a personal loss. But when therapists talk too much about themselves, it leads to the client not feeling respected and heard. That’s not just unproductive, it’s damaging to the therapeutic relationship.

As I mentioned last time, therapy can be a microcosm of the rest of the client’s world. Maintaining healthy professional boundaries allows us to do important mental-health work, which is why we are meeting. These healthy therapeutic boundaries also offer a model for what healthy boundaries in

other relationships look like. And that’s a crucial part of the therapeutic process, as you work toward a healthier life.

Anu Chahauver, MSW, RSW is a registered social worker / psychotherapist specializing in individual, family, couple and parent based treatment of anxiety and other concerns at our clinic.

Your Therapy is a safe, welcoming, counselling therapy practice in the Greater Toronto Area. Thanks for reading and, as always, please feel free to reach out with questions about therapy or other mental health issues.