So… you’re thinking about ending your therapy. If this feels like an awkward or difficult thing to bring up with your therapist, don’t worry. It’s a natural part
of the process. The key is to do it thoughtfully, not impulsively. And sometimes what you need isn’t actually ending—it’s a pause.
Reflect on Where You Are
If therapy is starting to feel less useful, ask yourself: Have I reached where I want to be? Do I understand myself better than when we started? Can I see how I’ve changed? It could be time to stop therapy or else take a pause.
Pauses in therapy give you time to integrate what you’ve learned and get comfortable with it at a deeper level. Either way, don’t be afraid to ask your therapist directly: “What do you think about ending therapy, or decreasing how often we meet?”
Watch for Avoidance
When thinking about a pause, there is one other factor to consider: could your desire to end actually be about avoiding something difficult? If you “don’t feel like” coming to therapy anymore, or you’re not sure why you want to stop, that’s worth exploring before you make a decision. You have to work through this ambivalence before doing anything real.
My job is to help you figure out what you actually want to work on and whether it’s the right time to end. I worked with a young man who felt like a failure for being “back” in therapy after taking a break. He hadn’t failed—he just had new things to work on. That’s normal. Similarly, when my father died after a long illness, it brought up some issues that I hadn’t recognized before, and I needed to deal with them so I returned to therapy. Therapy can be brief, but it can also be a pattern for lifelong healing and growth, with pauses in between.
Best Practices for Ending
There are professional guidelines for how to end therapy well. These “ending sessions” are a time for review and reflection, focusing on what you’ve gained, and where you started versus where you are now.
As I mentioned in my previous blog, if therapy feels like just a “check-in” without going anywhere deeper or more meaningful, it’s often time to stop or pause. Length
of time in therapy varies a lot—it can be weeks, months or years depending on your goals. But if you’re doing rinse-and-repeat on the same issue without progress, it may be time for a new approach or a different therapist.
I knew someone who saw the same therapist for 15 years working on various OCD-related problems, but never addressing the core issue. No one should be doing the same intervention, by the same person for 15 years. If you feel like something’s taking a really long time, or you keep seeing the same patterns over and over, ask about it.
Ending well is part of the therapeutic process. Whether it’s a pause or a goodbye, talk it through and make a real decision—not an impulse. And if you need to come back later? That’s absolutely not failure. That’s just how life goes.
Anu Chahauver, MSW, RSW, Psychotherapist
Director of Your Therapy, specializing in individuals, couples, and families. Anu has expertise in somatization, medical and mental health, and integrates evidence-informed approaches including Narrative, CBT, Attachment, Internal Family Systems/Somatic, and Emotionally Focused Therapy.
Your Therapy is a safe, welcoming counselling therapy practice in the Greater Toronto Area, supporting clients with therapy, mental health guidance, and practical tools for well-being.
Thanks for reading and, as always, please feel free to reach out with questions about talk therapy or other mental health issues.
Learn more about Anu: https://yourtherapy.ca/anu-chahuaver-nelson/
